As writers, we need to develop a thick skin when it comes to rejection. The more we expose our writing to others, the more we learn to ‘toughen up’, realising that it is in fact, our writing and not ourselves that is being judged. However, there is also the rejection on a more personal level that we need to be aware of; being surrounded by people who are negative when it comes to our writing goals or just us in general.
Recently, I had such a wake-up call. Unfortunately, I’ve been down this road before once too often, even a long time ago (and is the spark of one of my works in progress) and once again, involves people closest to me. I’ve taken hit after hit for so long that I am reminded of this famous quote:-
It is because they are so close, that we endure their negativity, their bullying and even their desire to ignore us. No matter how hard we may try, sometimes people cannot change what they don’t acknowledge. However, there comes a time where we can only take so much and tell ourselves enough is enough. We need to do this in order to gain some level of self-respect. Sometimes we have to walk away from the negatives in our lives, and that can include certain people. It’s not always easy, but it is necessary for our own happiness and peace of mind.
So how do you overcome the pain of rejection? Focus on the positive; surround yourself with like-minded people and those who encourage you, do things that make you happy, listen to music, exercise. Use such negative experiences and turn them into positives by focusing on what you can do to improve your writing goals and/or yourself as a person. Enrol in courses, join the gym, find ways to further your employment prospects.
Perhaps it goes down to that old saying ‘nice guys finish last’ because it always seems to be the nice guys that get walked on – or perhaps it’s just that I’m not a narcissist. 😉 Unfortunately, rejection is a part of life. How we deal with it is one of the many ways we learn to grow and such blows can make us stronger when facing that next challenge.
Have you experienced rejection at a personal level? How do you overcome rejection? Have you had to pull away from friends and/or family for your own peace of mind?
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Thanks for the post, Debbie. My husband and I are both creative folks. I write. He makes fine art photographs. We both work hard to cultivate and then maintain a positive, creative mindset. Are you familiar with Julie Cameron’s book/course “The Artist’s Way?” She has a lot to say about toxic, negative people and about the need to protect yourself from them. I agree with what she has to say about the reason why so many people react negatively to creative individuals. By pursuing our own creativity, our actions can sometimes hold up a mirror to those that want to be creative but aren’t for whatever reason. Our creativity can sometimes make others uncomfortable with what they’re doing (or not doing) with their own lives. It manifests with them passively or actively trying to tear us down so they won’t feel lacking. Anyway, those are my two cents (or maybe they’re Julie’s). Hope you have a great day full of excellent writing. 🙂
Hi Kathy. What you say sounds perfectly reasonable. I haven’t heard of that book before, so I might have to go searching for it now. Thanks for stopping by and making the recommendation. 🙂