Before I self-published three years ago, I read that once I hit that “publish” button, my life would change. In some respects, it did. I had more work to do, and like blogging, I had readers to satisfy. The trouble was, I managed to get caught in the belief that to be successful, I needed to write fast. Add on the “fear of missing out,” and worrying about things out of my control, what once gave me pleasure, I soon began to dread. I even considered chucking it all in.
Thankfully, I managed to persevere, believing that my health issues were an opportunity for me to slow down (the slow and steady route has always been my preferred option, anyway). I continued to take a step back from all the noise of social media and have come to realise the three most important things when it comes to indie publishing: –
Focus on your product
Do what is comfortable for you, and
Enjoy the process.
Indie publishing is a lot of work, and we can get so caught up in all the rush we forget why we’re doing this in the first place. Sometimes we need to reassess and take the time to appreciate how far we’ve come.
My husband recently told me to think about my personal satisfaction. Knowing I have created something I am proud of, and that readers enjoy, makes it all worth-while.
If you’re an indie author, have you been overwhelmed, or do you prefer to do it your own way? If you’re not published, which option are you considering – traditional, indie, or both?
In November of 2019, I self-published my first short story. Since then, I have published two more short stories and recently published my first novella, the first in a series. I have learned a few things along the way, and being an author is an occupation where you are always learning. But I think one of the biggest things I’ve learnt is that indie publishing is not for the faint of heart.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m one of the most determined and obstinate people you will ever find (just ask my husband), but one of my biggest weaknesses is comparing myself to others. I’ve been telling myself (and you here on this blog), that everyone’s writing journey is different, and this is my way to remind myself of this reality. In her book Dear Writer, You Need to Quit, Becca Syme has an entire chapter on the subject – ‘Quit Trying to Be Like Everyone Else.’ It’s good to know that there are other people out there who feel the same way I do. Even though my husband has been telling me this for years, I guess I needed to also hear it from others.
However, back in September 2020, things started to fall down around me. Despite being in a network of other writers, I felt alone. Even though they are lovely people whom I’m happy to have as writing friends, it began to dawn on me that they were not my ‘tribe.’ What I write does not necessarily gel with theirs. I started to pull away and even though I published another book of short stories a couple of months later, I began to go through one of the longest bouts of depression I have ever experienced.
Throughout this period and into a new year, I spent months setting up and sending out newsletters, and preparing my first Gothic novella for publication. I wondered what the point was because nobody cared, no-one was interested. I felt like a complete failure, but I persisted. As recently as April, a month before publication, my husband told me that if I wasn’t enjoying it anymore, then don’t do it. Do something else. I couldn’t stop because writing is all I’ve ever wanted to do. ‘This is me,’ I told him. ‘This is who I am.’ He just didn’t get it.
I like to keep this quote on my desk as a constant reminder.
It was also around this time, that something started to happen, a kind of shift. A fellow writer put me onto David Gaughran’s course ‘Starting from Zero.’ As I prepared my next book for its release, I began to use what he taught me. Shortly after release, a Facebook friend sent me a request to join a group for indie horror writers. From that group, I was asked to participate in a competition for Gothic writers, as well as join a group for Gothic readers (which also included writers). I had finally found my ‘tribe.’
Together, these two incidents, helped make the launch of The Curse of Marsden Hall, my most successful. It reached as high as No.4 in one of its categories on Amazon Australia and was one of its ‘hot new releases.’ This then helped one of my other short stories, First Christmas, reach No.2 (yes, you read that right) in one of its categories on Amazon Australia.
A rare moment of seeing two of my books side by side in the Top 20.
Of-course such a high is short lived and it was a good couple of weeks while it lasted, but it gives me hope that maybe – just maybe – things might be starting to change on my writing journey.
For eight months I struggled with self-doubt and depression, but it was also a journey of self-discovery. I’ve learned who I am as a writer, both in my genre and my process. I’ve come to the conclusion, that although I may not become a big name, what’s important for me is the writing itself, and making my readers happy. Who knows, I might become an ‘overnight success’ by the time I’ve published my 20th book! 😉
Yes, I’ll continue to doubt myself and make mistakes along the way, but I’ve managed to overcome this hurdle. Persistence (and a healthy dose of stubbornness) pays off.
Being an indie author is hard work but there’s no point in worrying about things out of your control. Keep showing up and put yourself out there. Have fun, and love what you do!
It’s been some months since I last posted about writing and my writing journey (and reading this post, you’ll understand why). This hasn’t been an easy post for me to write, but I do so because I prefer to be honest with you and maybe help others who are struggling with their own writing journey.
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Happy New Year everyone! Welcome to another year of reading, writing, and blogging.
Did you just suddenly ‘know’ you wanted to write? My writing journey did not start with a particular book, movie or story; that would come later. No, my writing journey started simply by attending school. In primary school, one of my favourite things to do, was when the teacher wanted us to write our own story (or comprehension as we knew it) as a special project.
Whenever we were asked to do these, I would get an inner thrill, my imagination would take hold and I was always eager to begin writing. I remember receiving good marks on a story about a slater (of all things)! I remember it was about a family of them and the father was killed by someone stepping on them. I guess I had morbid thoughts even back then. 😉 In sixth class, we needed to write a story set during the Australian gold rush, and I wrote it out neatly in an exercise book, where my mother did the cover art. I even had a poem pinned to the school noticeboard for everyone to read. I was embarrassed by such attention.
I was about ten years old when I remember I was talking to my teacher one lunchtime. I don’t recall exactly what we were talking about, but it must have had something to do about my writing because I thought to myself how great it would be to write stories for a living. That was my moment; that was when I knew I wanted to be a writer.
Uncle Fester was always a favourite. 😉
As I grew older, despite having a family that mocked my writing aspirations, I continued to persevere. I learned how to touch-type, did courses by correspondence, read writing magazines whenever I could and joined professional organisations. It wasn’t until I met my husband and left home that I began to feel comfortable with who I truly am.
It took a long time to get to this point (insecurity being my biggest hurdle), but I am finally published. It’s taken a lot of persistence and hard work to be able to call myself a writer. I have always been one really; it’s just taken me a long time to own it.
Did you always ‘know’ you wanted to be a writer? What started you on your writing journey? Was it a particular book, movie, story or series? Was it a teacher/friend/coach/spouse/parent?
The purpose of the Insecure Writer’s Support Group is to share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds.
