Growing up I never had a problem watching scary movies or reading scary books. Roller coasters always made me scream and laugh so much I cried. So what’s stopping me from trying to move forward as a writer?
I guess the real fear I have is a lack of self-confidence. Now that was something I always lacked as a child and has continued into my adult life. It has prevented me from doing many things. It is the fear of the great unknown, the fear itself of actually trying and making a fool of oneself when unsuccessful. The trouble is I have a tendency of thinking too much, instead of just getting on with it and doing it. For many years, for example, I have put off freelance writing just through fear alone.
Writing is something I can do, and always wanted to do. I have been told that I can write – it’s just a matter of time when I’m going to get published. My husband believes in me and is very supportive, yet the fear continues. Sometimes it’s like riding an emotional roller coaster; I’ll beat myself up for being so stupid and get really confident, while other days the self doubt takes a strong grip and refuses to let go.
There have been times when I have refused to let the fear take hold and afterwards, been left wondering why I was so worried in the first place. As you get older, you don’t necessarily become wiser. I just don’t want to get older and look back on these opportunities with any regrets. Funny, how I have to resort to an advertising slogan to help me. ‘Don’t just dream about it – do it!’