Is it So Hard to Be Nice?

handsRecently I posted something on social media, which got a smarmy response from one reader. My intent was to help others; this person’s was the complete opposite. When looking at their profile, I soon noticed their self-absorption and deleted their comment. Clearly they were not part of my ‘tribe’.

This got me wondering why it’s so hard to be nice. In a world where people tend to verge towards narcissism, being nice gets you noticed. I’m happy to say that the vast majority of people I’ve come across on social media have been great. 🙂

I just fail to understand the reasoning behind the need to be mean on social media. I was brought up to believe in the saying ‘if you can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything at all’. Is that really so difficult? Being rude gets you noticed for all the wrong reasons. There have been cases where authors lash out at their readers for bad book reviews, for example, which only creates more harm than good. Why do that to yourself? What does that achieve?

As a new writer, my reasons for being on social media are to network with other writers and hopefully make friends along the way. As I learn new things about both the craft of writing and the publishing industry, I share that information with others. By doing so, I’d like to think that I am helping other new writers, like myself, as well as spreading the word of those who are more experienced among us. Being friendly, helpful and showing acts of kindness draws others to you; you get satisfaction in helping others and you feel better about yourself. Sadly though, there are times when you can feel as though you’re being taken advantage of. That’s the time to walk away (I’ve been there once too often). You can be nice to others, but you need to ensure you set yourself some boundaries.

Being on social media means you are being sociable; that is, being friendly or agreeable in the company of others. The saying ‘don’t be a dick’ seems to be the general consensus but unfortunately some people have still yet to get the message.

Have you encountered trolls or bullies on social media? What are your thoughts on authors who lash out at bad reviews? Do you feel you have ever been taken advantage of when you’ve been nice to others?

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Image courtesy of Pixabay

2 thoughts on “Is it So Hard to Be Nice?

  1. I have been very lucky with social media and only have positive things to say. However, I have many friends that have a different experience.

    1. Debbie Johansson 22/09/2015 — 11:52 pm

      My heart goes out to those people who have experienced such unacceptable behaviour – there is no reason for it, either on or off social media. I’m glad to hear that you’ve been as lucky as I have Savannah. Lets hope it continues. 😉

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