IWSG: Finding Support as a Writer.

Recently I read a blog post from Anne R Allen about how well-intended loved ones can sabotage our writing careers. It clearly struck a chord with a lot of people for there were many comments and some sad stories were being told. Relaying my own personal experience made me realise that I was not alone.

When I told my mother, I wanted to write when I left school, she laughed at me and spoke with condescension. Since that day, despite the family knowing that I write and have had some success at it, they never ask me about it. It was the same when I was doing my University studies. For almost eight years, I studied part-time while raising a young family, and when I finished there was no word of congratulations; I was told that maybe now I could get myself a job. They would not be able to tell you what I studied, what my degree is in, nor how well I did, nor could they tell you what kind of writing I do.

This is why last year I began to set some boundaries and remove that level of negativity in my life. By doing so, it has been very liberating. It has made me much happier and allowed me to focus more on what’s important, such as writing.

Finding a great writing community (which for me is mainly on-line), such as the Insecure Writer’s Support Group, Romance Writers of Australia, along with various other individuals I’ve met over the years, has been a Godsend when it comes to helping me move forward towards my writing goals. If it wasn’t for these people and for having such a supportive husband, I would not be thinking of self-publishing. Instead, I would continue to write, but my life-long dream of publication would be forever lost.

I’m getting ever closer to hitting that ‘send’ button for my short stories before the end of the year. It will be a happy and very nervous time, but I will not be sharing that experience with my family; they’re not interested. I will, however, be spending that time with my husband, children and the on-line writing community; those people who love and understand what I do and why I do it.

This post is not meant to be a Debbie downer (I hate that use of my name), but to demonstrate that we are not alone in our creative endeavours. 🙂

Have loved ones sabotaged your writing? What have you done to remove negativity in your life? Have you managed to find your ‘tribe’?

The purpose of the Insecure Writer’s Support Group is to share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds.

Main image courtesy of Pixabay

Having an Accountability Buddy.

couple-1343944_1280Recently I read a blog post that clearly struck a lot of writers. Being a solitary endeavour, when we start out as writers, we can have a tendency to wonder why we even bother. Does anyone really care what we do? Does anyone really read what we write anyway? We can ask ourselves these questions when we reach our lowest point, which is why it is so important to have someone – at least just one person who is prepared to encourage us to keep on going.

It is so easy to fall into the trap of listening to the naysayers; those full of negativity who try to keep you down from achieving something or doing something which makes you happy. Finding someone, whether they are a partner, friend or relative that believes in you and is prepared to help you any way they can, can be beneficial to writers. Joining a writing group or even a couple of them on-line can help lift you out of the doldrums of your writing cave as mixing with other writers helps you to understand that you are not alone. Even in a group, you may find yourself drawn towards certain people, working up the courage to ask them to be beta readers and/or accountability buddies.

An accountability buddy can help keep you focused on your writing path and help steer you towards meeting your deadlines. They are also helpful in giving you the kick in the pants you need when you begin to slacken off, yet supportive in those times when you feel you’re not good enough. Being with a group of writers as accountability buddies can help energise you towards your goals as you may wish to emulate the success others may be having; proving that with hard work and determination, anything is possible.

I’m fortunate that my husband believes in me enough to be my accountability buddy. Yes, he does indeed give me the kick in the pants I deserve, insisting I avoid listening to the negativity of others. I still have a long way to go, but I know that without the support of that one particular person, my goal of becoming a published writer would never have come this far.

Do you have someone who encourages you to keep writing? Do you have a partner, friend or relative as an accountability buddy? Are you part of a supportive writing group?

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Image courtesy of Pixabay